Looking for the Sacred in the Ordinary

Denzel Family 2009-2010

2011-03-21T20:16:00.001-07:00

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More thoughts about the ordinary...

2009-04-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

These are words from a devotional a friend e-mailed to me today:

"Look closely at the ordinary in your life. While you're being grateful, don't forget to express pure, sheer gratitude for how beautiful the ordinary really is. We can easily overlook the ordinary, take it for granted. The sun rises and sets, the seasons come and go, and we forget how beautiful and sensational the familiar really is.

God thank you for every detail of my ordinary, everyday world."

I'm thanking God for my "ordinary" today.

A Franciscan Benediction :

2009-02-18T19:36:00.000-08:00

"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with an anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you can reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done."

Just a thought...

2009-02-16T11:29:00.000-08:00

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." Mother Teresa

this feels like the essence of the scared in the ordinary to me.

Has it been four months already?

2008-07-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

Today is the 4th month anniversary of XuXu's "gotcha day". And this will sound cliché... but maybe that is why it rings true... where did the time go?!?! and then also... it's only been four months?!?! China seems like forever ago and yesterday at the same time. XuXu is new to our family and seems as if she has always been here.

Here we are celebrating her first Independence Day as an American citizen at the "Push'em Pull'em" parade that happens every Fourth of July in our little beach town.

She has grown so much and in so many ways in the last four months. In China she could walk but was wobbly, now she is steady and almost running, learning to jump, climbs everything, and dances. In China she had 8 teeth and was just starting to get 2 molars, and now she has 16 teeth! Now she eats anything when at first she would only eat things that were of a baby food consistency. She is saying English words and adding new ones to her vocabulary every day. She is even starting to put two word sentences together. She is even using a little Chinese (she didn't before). She says "Ni Hao" (hello) and "Piao Liang" (pretty). She always says "piao liang" after I put her hair in pigtails or put her in a dress... so cute! Oh... did I mention that her hair is long enough now to put it in pigtails.

XuXu is also sporting quite the Cali-girl tan.

She has become a water baby and loves to play in the pool, tub or ocean.

She has gone from waking up crying several times in the night and waking up crying in the morning to sleeping soundly and waking up happy. She has definitely grown taller and heavier, I'm sporting the biceps to prove it. She is so much more confident and curious and content. What amazing things can happen in four months and right under our noses.

I have watched many children change and grow... from my son Zion and daughter XuXu, to nieces and nephews and the kids of my friends. It always seems like a miracle. When Bill and I had just started dating our friends Bill and Rhonni had their first son Billy. This year he graduated from high school and just left home to spend a year in London before starting college and turns 19 in the fall. It's stunning to remember the little baby whom I held the hands of to help him learn to walk and then think of the tall, intelligent, talented, and Godly young man that he has become. It takes my breath away. I also think, "I'm that old.. I have watched a child grow up?!" And then I think of my own babies as grown and gone and it really chokes me up... makes me want to be a better mom... and savor every ounce of childhood that is left. I'm going to go steal a kiss from my sleeping angels now.

Ok Ok... alright, already

2008-06-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

This is for all of you who are missing your Zion and XuXu fix. Things are going well. Getting better and better for me, I'm handling two kids and the changes much better now (I felt insane for awhile there). But in order to get there something had to give, and it was my blog and Internet communication (not that I was doing very well posting before anyway).

SO... that being said... this has to be short tonight. I gotta sleep! Summer is much harder with both of them home all day.
Here is a synopsis of the past month:

• Zion finished first grade
•He was one of two first graders in his school to win the Presidential Physical Fitness Award
• XuXu is saying more and more words all the time, she likes to sing the "clean up " song especially and it sounds like this "Meeee ma, Meee ma, aiaiaiaiai... Meee ma!" (Clean up, Clean up, everybody everywhere...)
• She is finally calling ME "MaMa", not just arbitrarily saying it, and she stopped calling me "Daddy"
• We have had some great days at the beach and the pool
• XuXu had her first camping experience, at Carpinteria State Beach
• They both had a blast at Vacation Bible School (She says "Jesus" now, it sounds like "GEEDA")
• XuXu has grown 2 inches taller and gained 2 pounds in just over 2 months!... and out grown a bunch of clothes!!
• XuXu and Zion really act like brother and sister, playing, laughing, fighting, loving together... that is great for me to see
• Zion called XuXu his best friend

Those are the highlights I can think of right now. I'll leave you with a couple of cute pics.

Finding a rhythm... and a little fun

2008-05-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

We have been home with XuXu for two months now and had her for almost two months and 10 days. She is doing so well in her new life as a Denzel. She and her brother just have a ball playing together... chasing each other, pillow fights (well, that is just Zion bopping her with pillows... she laughs now, but watch out brother for when she learns to bop back), wrestling... do I detect a very boy oriented play theme here? I guess that is how it is with a brother (I only had a sister).

Also, the fussing she does when she doesn't get what she wants (which was very constant in China and the first few weeks home) is tapering off and not so intense (my sanity thanks you, Lord). Her sleeping has improved so much too. She wakes up happy and rarely wakes up in the night and the naps are much more consistent. She is getting the hang of her routine and knows what we do at meal, nap and bed times. She reaches out her hands to hold hands to pray before meals and when we start bedtime routines she says "nigh, nigh" (Night, Night). She knows where to put dirty diapers and little bits of trash she might find on the floor (usually leaves that get in the house from zion and herself going in and out to play). She enjoys helping me with the laundry. She likes to put the wet clothes into the dryer. And she has learned to enjoy "In 'n Out Burger", a Denzel necessity.

We have also discovered that XuXu is a water girl. She loves the water. (Very important when you practically have a fish for a brother.) I knew she enjoyed the bath, but that and one cautious day dipping her toes in the ocean is all she had experienced. Last weekend (when it was super hot) we went to Grandpa's (my dad's) apartment to swim in the pool. She LOVED it, no fear. She didn't even mind dunking her head under a bit. I just had to keep her from drinking the water... hmmmm. Here's a pic of us just getting in.

The next day I watched my sister's baby Giada (GiGi) while she, her husband and my husband helped my dad move. So the cousins XuXu and GiGi had a play date. GiGi is 10 months old. And after a few tussles over having to share the toys with GiGi, XuXu and GiGi had a great time together. Her are the cute photos...

Over all life is starting to fall into a rhythm and getting smoother. I'm doing better with the all changes, but I'm definitely not totally there yet... maybe you can never quite get it all in place, but don't tell that to an obsessive, compulsive, perfectionist, control freak. Yeah... I working on that too.

Showers, siblings and adjustment....Oh My!

2008-05-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

I think it has been several weeks since I have updated about the happenings here in the Denzel home. I hardly know where to start so much has happened... XuXu saying her first English words, or using a spoon to feed herself, or her sleeping better and trying more foods or her first play date... (Here's a photo of XuXu and Jared).

She has even stayed in the child care at the Y, so Mommy could work out, pretty well a couple of times.
We also went to visit my dear friends, and Zion and XuXu's God parents, the Erbes. Stella and I have been friend's since 9th grade.

And we celebrated Rachel's re-adoption day (XuXu's friend who is also from China) and the end of her family's paperwork and adoption process! Rachel is official! Here they are playing in the sand at the party after the court ceremony.

Sorry that I haven't been very motivated about keeping up with what is going on. Sleep has been a priority... if you are watching a toddler all day you know what I mean. Also I'm trying to beat the funk I've been in with the anniversary of my mom's passing and Mother's Day giving me the one two punch. I didn't expect the feelings of grief to be stirred up as much as they were. Here are family photos from "visiting" mom on Mother's Day. The other family is my sister Gwenda, her husband Emilio and their daughter Giada with my dad.

So on with the update already...

I have been blessed so much by my loving friends from all the circles I move in. God has blessed me with amazing women in my life. XuXu has now been given 5 showers! 2 before we left for China and now 3 since returning home. About a week after getting home the people at Gospel Light, where Bill works, threw us a surprise shower. XuXu loved it and took command of the room immediately. Telling the grown-ups around her to give her the balloons and the candy etc. all by just looking adorable.

Then a few weeks ago some of the Moms in my son's first grade class (Tracy and Lauri) threw us a lovely luncheon shower... more adorable clothes and toys! Zion's sweet teacher Mrs. Guttierez (who is in her 70's and has been teaching first grade for over 30 years) came and gave her a cute story Bible that Zion can read to her. Also, his wonderful kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Stine, was there too. (She has been hoping and praying for XuXu right along with us since Zion was in kindy.) What a blessing the Mom's of the kids in his class are. XuXu really enjoyed that shower too. She loved being with people, eating the treats, and opening the gifts. She would say "Wow" and "Ooooooo" when I showed her the presents. Usually the baby is in the mom's belly at a baby shower and occasionally it is a newborn. But having the guest of honor be a playful toddler is so much fun. Here are some pics from this shower that Tracy and Lauri gave for us.

Then two of my closest and dearest friends, LaDonna and Jill, hosted a shower for us just two weeks ago. My Bunko group and some old church friends came to that one. (Yes, I play Bunko! You can stop laughing now. It's a lot of fun and night out for mom!) Again XuXu had everyone charmed. She got Jill to play in a small plastic children's play house with her (Jill has 3 kids) and had Ginger fetching her cheese. (Pretty much everyone was wrapped around her finger.) She was"Oohing" and "Ahhing" over the gifts and even trying on some of the clothes. Her drawers are bursting now. I think she can wear a different outfit almost every day by mixing and matching. Perfect for a mom who is a complete clothes horse. Bill teases me about enjoying my dress up doll. Here is the group photo from this shower.

Well that is all of the showers... thank you so much for all the love everyone... now on to the SIBLINGS!

Zion and XuXu, they are so cute together... most of the time, but I think that the honeymoon is over and sibling rivalry is rearing it's ugly head. Don't get me wrong, I think Zion is doing an amazing job for a kid who was the star of the show for over seven years of his life. However... Zion did say a few weeks ago "You don't love me anymore now that she's here." (Sure twist the knife a little more kid... I'm already feeling bad about and missing the lost one on one time with him.) So I asked him how I could reassure him that I still loved him. He said "Make a sign and put it on my door with nails so that it will never come down!" (Makes your heart break doesn't it.) So I made a sign for his door.

I do always love him, but he has really been testing that in the last couple of weeks with his behavior, especially towards mom and dad. I'm trying to encourage him to be the hero big brother and not the torturer big brother. It works much of the time. (Here are some cute Zion and XuXu moments.)

XuXu is adjusting so smoothly, that I'm surprised about it. She has had to adjust kind of in the opposite way as Zion has. From being one of many... to being home alone with mom most of the day. XuXu has her fair share of "moments" too, though. Like trying to push Zion off of my lap when I'm holding him, or screaming at him when she wants what he has. But mostly she loves her big brother. "Brother" is one of her first English words. (FYI...she says "Mama, Dada, brother, bubble, dog, ball, doll, bye bye, hi, sock, sit, look and no". And can say "more, please and all done" in sign language.) At Zion's school performance a couple of weeks ago, she would yell out "braahhh daaahh" and reach for the stage whenever she saw him. Adorable... except that we were in a auditorium full of parents trying to video tape their kid's performance. It's a whole new world doing things with a toddler again.

Which brings me to adjustment... Like I said XuXu is adjusting smoothly, but I'm a whole other story. Finding a rhythm for just getting the day to day things done is a challenge I have yet to complete. Having two kids schedules and needs to deal with is so different than one. (All of you with more than one kid are nodding and smiling... aren't you.) I have to say that I'm beat and sometimes more than frustrated. My friend Lou told me that there is and old adage that says, "One is like none and two is like ten." It sure feels that way to me sometimes. It hasn't been all bliss and joy for me yet, and I do feel guilty about that especially when I hoped and prayed for her for so long. She is sweet and cute and wonderful and I love her. But life is different... and I'm working on adjusting.

Remembering Mom

2008-05-02T12:00:00.001-07:00

Today, May 2nd 2008, is the first anniversary of my mom's death. She is really on my mind today and I am missing her a lot. Today is also XuXu 18th month birthday. I know my mom would have loved her and I really wish she could have met her.

I know that I inherited my love and compassion for others (such as other cultures and orphans and the poor) from my mother. She raised my sister and I to value and love all people and to treat everyone with respect. My mom was a very accepting, loving and generous person. She always put others first, almost to a fault. She was strong, intelligent, selfless and never afraid of being herself. She fought a courageous battle with cancer for 5 years with a positive outlook and dignity.

I love you and miss you mom. Following are some photos of my mom and our family through the years that we showed in a slide show at memorial service last year.

This is my favorite photo of my mom as a girl

This is my parents wedding day. Their grand entrance.

This is a family photo from when I was about 6 or 7. I am on the left and my sister Gwenda is on the right. My sister is sitting in my Grandmother's (my dad's mom) lap.

This is my mom and I on my wedding day.

This is my mom and dad on a big game fishing trip in Baja California. I love how happy they look in this picture.

This is my mom with her two brothers (Walter, younger, on the left and Charlie, older, on the right). This is the last time she got to see them. They came out to California to visit her early in her cancer struggle.

This is me and my mom on Mother's day in 1994. We took her and Bill's mom to a special brunch at a restaurant here in Ventura. This is my favorite photo of the two of us.

If you are blessed to still have your mom, give her a hug today or call her and tell her you love her.

XuXu's First Month OR Blowing Raspberries, Making friends

2008-04-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

We interrupt the stories about China to update you about our first few weeks at home...
Has it been 3 week already? And almost a month since Lu Jia Feng became XuXu Lynn Denzel (one month on the 17th!).
It's all gone so fast. One kid made life move quickly and now with two it's at light speed! Blogging has really taken a back seat to the kids and sleeping! It took us a week to get over the jet lag and almost 2 before I did not feel sick at all anymore! (That was one of the longest illnesses I have ever had. Over a month!)

Anyway, XuXu's first days in her forever home and as an American Citizen and California Girl have been quite eventful. She has just eased right into it as if she was always meant to be here. It's amazing. When I asked God to prepare her to be a part of our family and help her know that this was her home (almost every night for 3 years), HE DID. Praise God! (I could have been a bit more prepared for parenting a toddler again... but... you can only be so prepared for the unknown ;) ). She seems to be adjusting beautifully.

XuXu's life since meeting us has been full of firsts.
First time off of the Social Welfare Institutes's campus.
First car ride.
First trip to the supermarket.
First hotel stay.
First restaurant.
First plane ride.
First family... forever family... and that was all with out leaving China!

Now that she is home the firsts are just all over the place! (which is so special... sacred... to us, because we have missed so many of her other firsts.) XuXu has met many of our friends and family and given them her standard greeting... blowing a raspberry. (Or a zerbert or making a flatulent noise with her mouth what ever you want to call it.) After she became a bit more comfortable with us, on the first day we had her, that is the sound she made for us and we all laughed... so now that is her way of saying "Hello". Here she is with Bill's dad and they are doing it together...

This is a brief chronicle of the events of the past few weeks and XuXu's firsts.

First car seat ride and did not scream... Hooray! (slept through most of it)
Welcome home and touch the soil in Ventura! (US Citizen Baby!)

Met Grandpa Lynn (above) and many friends, entered her home, played in the back yard, checked out her room, had "In-n-Out!", and slept in her own crib all for the first time!
Ate in her own high chair (and did not scream)
Played with big brother in her "Cozy Coupe" (below)

Watched Zion's soccer practice.
Went with Mom to drop off Big Brother at school (and got a fabulous greeting from the class).
Went to Trader Joe's (Mom's favorite grocery store! and did not scream about being in the cart)
Met Auntie Gwenda (Aimee's sister), Uncle Emilio, Cousin Giada and Abuelita (Bill's mom).

Met Grandpa Denzel (below) and Maria, and watched Zion's soccer game.

Met Auntie Rita (Bill's sister), Uncle Mickey, and all the Diaz cousins (Maddie, Gabby, Michael, Joshua and Jonathan) and had her first egg hunt.
Went to visit a fire station (below) and Children's World park on a mommy and me outing to Santa Barbara (and met many more friends!)

First visit to Santa Barbara! (and first time in the stroller since China and she did not scream!)
First visit to our family doctor.
Went to Pete's breakfast house! (A Ventura local's must)
First visit to an art museum. (below)
First book signing party and meeting with Auntie Stella and Uncle Richard (her God parents)
Introduced to our beloved Bridge (our old church) friends at a park gathering.
Went to her first mommy and me music class.
Went to a welcome party (for her) at Daddy's work.
First movie "Horton Hears a Who!" with popcorn (which I did not notice, there in the dark, that she was chewing up and spitting out all over us!)
First "Pump It Up" birthday party! and first time on a bouncer!
First trip to the beach and first time playing in the sand (got it in her diaper, now she's really a Cali girl) and first time putting her feet in the ocean. (below)

First time Daddy put her to bed (she did pretty well). Mommy even got a night out to play Bunco!
First time in the YMCA childcare so Mommy could workout (she made it through almost the whole class!)

Wow, so many new and wonderful things happening. New foods, new sights, new friends, new home... wonderful new life.
It hasn't come without work and sacrifice and struggle, but nothing this beautiful does... hard work and sacrifice from us, from you, from all the great staff at your SWI in Hefei and from your birth parents (they don't know how much they sacrificed when they they gave you up).
Welcome home XuXu... we will always love you and we will always be your family.

Sorry, been busy.

2008-04-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

Hello readers,
I'm so flattered that you enjoy my blog. I have been wanting to create a post for days. Even now these few words has taken me about 20 minutes with trying to deal with two kids at the same time. So... sorry to keep you all waiting to hear about what is happening. I have a half finished post about the last two weeks saved as a draft that I hope to finish soon. I hope I haven't lost too many of you out due to my inability to post. Check back maybe once a week. Once my son is back in school (starting next week 3-14) I should have more time.

Anyway we are well and I should have more of a story and pictures soon.
Here's a picture of XuXu at the music class I took her too on Monday. She enjoyed the bubbles.

Back to the Beginning

2008-04-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

I said I would post more about our trip when I got back... so here it is. I went all the way back to us on the plane out of LAX. This is what I would have posted if I was able to get on-line and wasn't so sick and dog tired. So here are photos (with captions) mostly from our first day touring Beijing before we went to get XuXu...

Its very early in the morning and we are on our the first leg of our flight to China, LAX to SF.
Zion was so excited to go on his first airplane trip... but not so excited just a few minutes after leaving the ground. The poor guy got air sick. We found him some Dramamine in the San Francisco airport and he was fine on all the subsequent flights.

This was our first day in China. First we walked around Tienamen Square. We couldn't actually go onto the square because the Chinese "congress" was in session. Then we went to tour the Forbidden City which is at one end of the Square. It was a lot more crowded there this time than in 1993. This is us entering the Forbidden City. (It is called that because only the Imperial Court and the servants of the Emperor could enter, no commoners allowed.)

The Forbidden City is a vast and amazing complex. I like to imagine what it was like in it's glory during anceint Imperial China. The first time I was there in '93 our guide told us that 10,000 people lived within the walls of the Forbidden City. Many of those people were guards or servants.

Above are some of the interesting signs that Bill took pictures of. Sometimes the "Changlish" can be hilarious. I might need to spend more time in the "Hall of Mental Cultivation" after becoming a mom of two! The brain cells are dwindling. And how could you pass up a "Four Star Toilet"! The cultural differences can definitely be "Way Out".

The next photos are from my favorite sight-seeing venture in China. We went on a tour of a part of Beijing called Hutong. The people still live in the traditional courtyard style homes, some of which have housed the same families for many generations. I loved getting this taste of real China. We all piled in bicycle rickshaws and were toured around this quaint and delightful part of "Old Beijing". The ride was fun and exciting and the drivers were very playful, sometimes racing each other.

The first place the rickshaws stopped was where we were to have lunch (photos below). Our lunch was hosted in the master bedroom of a traditional courtyard home and it was cooked by the lady of the house and served by her daughter and our guides. There were three tables with small stools around them set up in the room and the one couch and bed also served as seating. What a gracious display of hospitality. Can you imagine hosting over 20 strange foreigners for lunch in one small room of your home (the room was probably as big as my kitchen.) And the lunch (which was delicious) was cooked on a tiny two burner coal fired stove in a tiny kitchen (about 1/4th the size as mine.) This really taught me a lesson about Christ-like hospitality. Amazing. You can get a sense of it from the photos below.

This is Zion, Bill and I at the lunch.

This is a photo of the part of the lunch where our hostess and local guide proudly told us about her home and family.

Our very gracious hosts.

We then went to visit another traditional home and family. The matriarch of the family (an adorable woman) just loved Zion. She asked him to sit with her while she told us about her home and family. I'm so glad he did without hesitating. (Thank you God!) This family had several pets: fish, turtles and birds. One of the birds kept saying "Ni Hao" (pronounced "nee how" and is "Hello" in Chinese). This experience was such a wonderful part of our trip. It really impacted my heart and increased my love for the Chinese people. Everyone who visits China should have an opportunity to do something like this before it is all taken over by high rises.

Next is a picture of some of the adorable children we met visiting a Chinese preschool. Aren't they gorgeous kids! And so well behaved. Could you imagine an American preschool parading foreign tourists through just so they could check it out!?! NO WAY! But it was good to see. Outside this classroom were baskets of toys and one of them was full of TOY automatic weapons... you'd never find that at an American perschool either.

I just love this picture of an alley way on our Hutong tour. It shows some the charm and simple beauty of China.

After this Zion and BIll went to a Chinese acrobat show. (Zion loved it.) I was too worn out to join them and went back to the hotel to try to rest some, but really only got to lay down (on the stone bed) for about 10 minutes and then had to get in the bus to join those who went to the show for dinner. We all were super cranky at dinner and practially collapsed when we finally got back to our rooms.

Well that was our first day. I'll continue to go through our trip in the next posts.

We're HOME!!!!

2008-03-31T09:33:00.000-07:00

Well I finally crawled out from under the jet lag and laundry mountain enough to make an update post on how we're doing.
(Sorry about the long delay and thanks to all of you who hung in there and kept checking back! Bill has been on the computer the last couple of nights too... oh well. Thanks for being understanding with all the adjusting we are doing right now finding time and energy to post has been hard.)

So here goes...

The plane ride was the longest and hardest one I have ever taken. Since XuXu is still only prefers me I had the job of contending with an almost 17 month old for most of the 12 hours. Coach is uncomfortable in normal situations, but this was extreme air travel. She did sleep some... maybe a total of 5 of hours in two naps. The rest of the time was spent walking her around the plane or wrestling with her in the seat, and also trying to keep Zion happy and entertained. By the way, Bill sat across the aisle from us and enjoyed his i-pod and book and naps, most of the time. (To his credit, he did help out whenever I asked him too... but I'm still jealous.)

It was so good landing and seeing Los Angeles (all together now... I LOVE LA!!... We Love it!). To see the blue sky and the open spaces was such a relief (LA is a big city but not nearly the sky scraper jungle that the three cities in China that we visited were). Getting out of the airport was a task however, especially after traveling for about 20 hours. We had too many carry-ons. Zion didn't fall asleep on the plane till it was almost time to land, so we had to practically drag him through immagration, baggage claim and customs. He was so tired. But we made it and both kids (I 'm still amazed I can say that now) slept the whole car ride home.

Going over the hill from West Lake, driving down the grade and taking in the view from Camarillo through Oxnard to Ventura to the Ocean was wonderful. I always love that view and it was even better this time. Ventura is beautiful place. We are so blessed.

Pulling into our driveway we had a wonderful welcoming committee. My friend Susan organized friends and family to be there to cheer as we pulled up. There were three big welcome home signs, one from Zion's whole first grade class, one from the friends who were there and one from the Woods family. It was a beautiful ending to our long and hard trip to get hugs and congratulations from those that we love. Especially after the anticilmactic official who mumbled XuXu's welcome to America in immigration at LAX. Thank you to everyone who came to greet us! And then thank you for leaving so we could rest. (If I can figure it out, I will post the video of us pulling up.) Here are pics of the signs. (If any of you who were there have photos you could e-mail to me of our arrival, I would love it. I only have video)

Well, I'm trying to type with one hand now and hold XuXu with the other. I will post more later.

Last Day

2008-03-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

Today is our last full day in China. I'm so excited to go home... and a little nervous about bringing an active toddler on a 13 hour flight. Also a bit wistful about leaving the only home XuXu has known. (It's 5:30am right now.)

For all you who have been faithful followers of my blog, thank you. Thank you also for all the encouraging comments (high five to those who got the Pee Wee reference.) And I'm sorry that I wasn't able to share more during our trip. The Internet thing was quite a pain for most of the time. And when it wasn't, finding the time to do it was difficult. (If XuXu sees me on the computer she wants to join in, she loves electronics... oh boy!) I will be posting more about our trip when I get home (especially on those jet-lag nights) and lots more pictures!

We have finally been able to catch our breath the last couple of days. On Easter Sunday, our group went to Shamien Island in the morning to shop. We only got about two and a half hours to do it, not much time. So we were not able to get all the souvenirs for friends and family we would have liked too. Since our hotel is about a 15-20 bus ride from the Island we can't just walk outside and shop easily. One souvenir that we always get has not been readily available is our cheesy key chain with the place name on it. I have not seen those ubiquitous plastic key chains that you find everywhere in the US.(For those of you about to travel... if you see something in Beijing that you like BUY IT! It will be difficult if not impossible to get in Guangzhou. Except for jade, pearls,(side note: you don't know if these are real though in Guangzhou) silk clothes, and really typical tourist souvenir type things.)

After the shopping at 3:00 in the afternoon, our group had our own Easter service. We have a pastor and a worship leader in our group (from different families.) They planned and arranged the whole thing. They rented a conference room in our hotel to have it in. We got to dress the new daughters in cute Easter dresses, so fun. And we all worshiped together, beautiful. I cried during the acapella worship. All the babies were mesmerized by the singing and I heard some of them "singing" along too. XuXu and Noelle, the pastor's daughter ;),(those spicy Hefei girls) ran around for most of the sermon. I had to chase her around the room a lot of the time. (For those of you who know Zion, does this sound familiar?) It was a great experience.

After that we just relaxed in our room and ordered take out delivered from Danny's Bagels. An authentic western restaurant, great food! Google it for the menu and info if you are coming here! One does get homesick for real American food... although I have probably enjoyed the great Chinese food more than most, having grown up in a culturally Chinese home.

The night before this we made the mistake of trying to eat at the Chinese restaurant here in the hotel with a picky 7 year old and a toddler who hates high chairs (We were very tired of fast food, McDonald's etc. even though we only had it a few times). It was a large fancy restaurant, but it was empty (only one other table of customers.) Communication between us and the wait staff was a little difficult. The food was excellent, but the menu was difficult to figure out. The English descriptions do not match up with what we are used to at home. We were noisy and made a huge mess. Oh well!

Back to Easter Sunday, having had that time to relax in the room that evening really helped.

The next morning, Monday, we finally did not have to be ready by 9:00am to go somewhere. We got to take our time in the morning. It was our consulate appointment date for XuXu's visa. Our guides went to the appointment as our representatives and we just had to wait in the room in case they had to call us with questions. Our guides said everything went smoothly for all the families. YAY!

Next, on Monday afternoon, we went to the Chen family museum (above). A beautiful place with nice gardens. And it was a gorgeous day. And then back to Shamein Is. for one more hour of shopping. Not enough time to shop. :( (Colette, I'm sorry but I couldn't find the red shoes in a large enough size for you. All the shops a had sizes probably equivalent to US sizes 4 and under. Nothing larger in red, pink yes, not red.) We did a little more pocket book damage there.

Next our guides had a dinner and "show" at a Thai restaurant, called Banana Leaf, planned for us. FUN! and delicious! We thought we were going to see authentic Thai dancing though, but got the exact opposite. There was a group of about 8 dancers (male and female) and 4-5 musicians all dressed up like they were part of a "Love Boat" style cruise ship crew. They used Thai instruments and heavy Filipino accents (our guides said they were from the Philippians) to cover American disco tunes and did music video style dance routines to them. HILARIOUS! and BUMMER! we did not have the video camera. The best part was when the dancers pulled up the older kids and men from our group to join them. Zion and the other boy his age, Drew, were great! Hamming it up and dancing their hearts out (photos below). The Dads weren't bad either. We were quite a site to all the Chinese customers in the crowded and popular theme restaurant. (Like going to something like the Rainforest Cafe in the US.)

So the last two days really helped us to rest up to handle the long trip home. Today we have the morning free again. We will probably get organized to pack. As much as the traveler in me would love to explore more. We can see some interesting places from the view from our 33rd floor room. Dragging the kids around does not sound fun. My arms and back are so tired from carrying XuXu. She wants to be down and walk around where ever she can't do it, such as in the bus or at dinner, so I have to wrestle with her to hold onto her. And when I take her somewhere she can run around, like the park on Shamien Is., she just wants to be held and just stand there with her arms up crying for me to pick her back up. We're going to work on this. Besides, Zion just wants to play with Drew. (It has been so great and helpful that there was a boy his age on this trip!) So packing it is.

So then, this afternoon we go to the "swearing in ceremony" to pick up the girl's visas and then back to pack to come home. We are going to take a group picture in the hotel lobby too. We are going to dress up in the traditional Chinese silk shirts we got.

California here we come! Can't wait to be home and for you all to meet our XuXu, our "Rare and Precious Pearl".

Can you say "exhausted"?

2008-03-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

Hi there playhouse friends! The secret word of the day is "exhausted"! Whenever you here the word "exhausted" scream real loud! ;)

I think the only other time I have been this exhausted is a couple of days after giving birth to Zion. You run the "Marathon" that birthing a child is and then you get to be sleep deprived for days on end. International adoption is kind of like that.
Your schedule and everything that you're familiar with is messed up, the child's schedule and everything that they're familiar with is messed up... this is one of the hardest things I have ever done. And the most exhausting! (All you BTDT's are nodding your heads.)

Zion has been a trouper through it all (most of the time... everyone has their moments). I know all of this has been very difficult for him too, but my patience towards him has not displayed this understanding. I need to do better for my special boy.

Today we had the medical exam for XuXu (all the adopted kids do this in order for them to be allowed to immigrate to the US.) And it felt like they all were there in that crowed medical office ;). I found out the XuXu had no ear infections (didn't think she did, they just check them all) and no fever. She is a healthy 25lbs. (You should see the guns I'm building now!;) ) and 82cm long (conversion table anyone?).

After the medical exam the parent most familiar with the paperwork got to go to the "not really a party, paperwork party" (any guess as to what the gender of 90% of the people was). We all spent about an hour filling out forms. Yay! This is the last paperwork we do in China. At least we did it in a very comfortable conference room in the hotel. And it gave PaPa and XuXu some important bonding time. But it still made me dizzy.

The weather here in Guangzhou is tropical (right up the alley of this Hawaii fan). It rained all day but it was warm and humid. The moist air is really helping with my coughing and congestion. I'm feeling much better and so is Bill (thanks for praying).
My ribs are still so strained that I'm beginning to feel like an Ibuprofen junkie. I'm almost out though, and we haven't found any more yet.

The more comfortable XuXu gets with us the more playful she is, which is very playful, fun and adorable, but the more challenging she is. So pray for energy and upper body strength ;). She is strong and wiggly, and difficult to hold on to at times, but often I have no other choice. Also pray for me to be able to affirm and support Zion better through this. Poor Zion has been getting beat on by his little sister. She hit him on the head with a brush, threw her stacking cups in him face, scratched his face and that's just what I can think of.

I have to go to bed now, I'm exhausted. AAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Did you scream?)

Happy Easter everyone! Tomorrow is Easter! I'm ending with a fun picture of Zion on the Great Wall of China.

More Pictures!... and a little info.

2008-03-20T06:28:00.000-07:00

This was on Gotcha Day, 3/17/08, the first time XuXu let her new PaPa hold her with out crying.

Me and both of my babies... at last.

This is the family portrait taken on Gotcha Day that was put on XuXu's adoption certificate.

We took a picture in front of the Chinese Flag at the CCAA on the day XuXu officially became a Denzel! 3/18/08

3/19/08 On Wednesday afternoon we finally had a free day and walked to the park across the street with the other two families here in Hefei with us. It is a beautiful park that is around a lake. It is early spring here and the willow trees in the background are just beginning to get their leaves, and other trees are blooming.

From left to right this is: XuXu and I, Jennifer Johnson and Noelle, Amy Woods and Adaiah. We have really enjoyed our time with these two wonderful families. Both are so loving, kind, and generous. I'm so thankful for them. They have enhanced our experience here in Hefei exponentially.

Zion and XuXu! a first measurement of size for the Ge Ge (big brother) and Mei Mei (little sister).

I just love that face... what else can I say.

We conked out after breakfast while waiting for the Johnsons to join us on a trip to the "Carefour" a Chinese mall. 3/20/08 AM

We went to visit XuXu's orphanage today (3/20). I started crying when we got out of the van. But then the orphanage tour became a bit of a whirlwind, and we just tried to keep up. (Hanni, we got great video and pictures of the "girl in pink". And Kim S. your little girl was the first girl we met when we got there, almost at the entrance walking with her nanny. She is beautiful. We got pics and video for you too.) First we went to the 0-2 rooms. The Hefei SWI is open bright and clean and colorful. All the nannies shouted out "Jia Feng!" (XuXu's name in China) happily when they saw her. There was a lot of staff who all seemed to be engaged with and love the babies very much. The are all kind and friendly. It is so reassuring to know first hand the XuXu was so well cared for for the first 16 months of her life. At the babies activity room (where her referral picture was taken) we met her caregiver from the "grandma" program that they have at this orphanage (in the above picture). It was her job to play with certain infants one on one for a while every day. She also is the one who created her life book. She was so happy to see her again and went to take a memento photo with her for herself. It was very obvious she loved her a lot. I found out that her sur name is Xu. What a wonderful connection and reminder that is for us.

This is the crib XuXu slept in, in the her foster family's apartment. She was placed in the foster care village in October of 2007.
She would spend her evenings and nights at their apartment with about 6 other kids. She would go to the infant play and activity rooms during the day.

This is Zion and XuXu playing in the tub together tonight. He really makes her laugh. She love to play games and be silly. She'll fit right in in our family. We just have to do something about those tantrums... hmmmm.

Tomorrow we leave for Guangzhou. Here is where we get her visa for her to go to the USA! Six days left. I am so tired and ready to be home, but know I really understand what I have read in other blog about leaving being bitter sweet. It is hard to leave a place that is so much in my heart.

Pictures of XuXu! On Gotcha Day!

2008-03-20T05:36:00.001-07:00

This is when we first walked into the room. Can you find XuXu?

This is the nanny who handed her to us. This was right before the hand off.

The is the first picture of "The Four Denzels".

XuXu looking at me a bit suspiciously at first.

Then she snuggled right in.

We Have XuXu!

2008-03-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,
I know you all have been anxiously awaiting news from me and pictures. I’m sorry about any delay. At our first hotel in Beijing we could not get on line at all. I think the connection, the actual wire to connect with, was not good, as others were able to get on line and get posts out there. The one post I did I had to use Bill’s blackberry and e-mail that short blurb to my friend Hanni (thank you Hanni, Jane says, “Hello”) for her to post. Everyone has to use “back doors” to get to their blogs and a lot are having trouble getting on line.

Our schedule has also been such a constant pace of going here and there (especially in Beijing) that there hasn’t been time for me to put much effort into blogging. I don’t know how some BTDT’s have had the energy to post after they get back from those days of sight seeing. I think being sick (I have what you had, Jackie, with the horrible constant coughing) has also kept me from putting effort into blogging. I really need my energy for the day and Zion and now XuXu! Etc. etc…

PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR ME FOR HEALTH! The coughing and congestion (and the uncomfortable beds and room air) have not let me get hardly any sleep. And the busy schedule has not allowed me to rest. Our room in Beijing was way too uncomfortable (the bed was as hard as a rock, especially for my boney butt) to spend the day there resting, so I had to push on. I lost my voice since day 2 and have coughed so much and so hard now that my ribs are strained and any chough is very painful, but I still chough. The air here is very polluted and I know that doesn’t help anything. The dry bad air has also aggravated Zion’s and Bill’s allergies.

So know to the juicy part I know you all have been waiting for… (I won’t delay you with other trip and sight seeing details. I’ll just blog about that later, at home)

GOTCHA DAY!
We are here in Hefei with 2 other families. And we all went first thing in the morning to the CCAA’s office to get our new daughters. It was 8:30am, right after breakfast. We all thought we would get to the office and have to wait a bit before we got them. But as we were walking down the hall to the little room where they do the meetings our guide Jane announced back to us “They are already here!” So they all watched us walk into the room. I thought I recognized XuXu, but I’d had to look at all the babies’ hands to be sure.
She was sitting quietly on a nanny’s lap.

We had to put down our things and then wait for them to call us to go meet the babies. We were all so overwhelmed to walk in and have them already there we didn’t know what to do. Our friend’s the Johnson’s went first and their baby Noelle screamed and cried when she was handed to Jennifer. So that made me nervous. (We were all busy trying to take picture and video tape for each other, too)

We were next… when the nanny hand her to me she just quietly went to me, whew! She is so sweet and so pretty, just like her picture. But she did not want to go to Bill. When I tried to hand her to him, so he could hold her she started to cry. Zion was kind of walking around us not sure what to do as well. But he did great, trying to hand her toys and play with her. I know she was just as stunned as we were. But she was quiet and peaceful and snuggled into me. She was holding tightly onto pieces of candy in each hand and was bundled in a thick winter suit. (I think it is the one that Rob and Jing, at Gospel Light’s Beijing office, got her for us. Thank you both so much. She was also wearing the red sweater and had the Olympic mascot doll you sent. What you sent was so thoughtful,.. a thousand thanks.)

Next they took our official family portrait (just XuXu, Bill and I). And we signed papers saying that we would be caring for her for the time being, she still is a ward of the state right now. Then we were introduced to the orphanage director, a pretty and kind looking lady. I recognized her and the nanny’s that were there from the Fredrick’s SWI tour DVD, thank you both so much! Then we thanked the nanny’s and we walked out with XuXu! Shockingly fast… I know! The whole thing took less than an hour.

XuXu was so sweet and peaceful. (Many the Chinese people we met that day commented on how pretty she is. I could recognize the word “PiaoLiang” for pretty from the little bit I studied. I know now though that she was being so quiet because that is how she is around strangers. All she did at first was hold onto me. We all went to a Chinese super market next (kind of like a Walmart or Target with a bit of everything and food.) She remained stunned all through it. I must have been her first bus ride and trip to a market. She fell asleep on the ride back to the hotel. She was probably exhausted from the stimulation of all the new things. She also was very sweaty from all the layers and she has a cold. So she stayed asleep when I laid her down in the crib and she took a nap for about an hour and a half.

After her nap and some food and Tylenol Cold for kids she started to come out of her shell. She played with Zion and he got the first smile and giggle out of her. (I was showing her pictures of our family on the computer while Zion and Bill were out of the room for a bit and she would point to his picture and make a “huh” sound when ever she saw him. I think she recognized him form the photos we sent.)

She had to be held continually by me at first. Then Zion, XuXu and I lay on the bed and played and he really got her warmed up. By the early afternoon she was laughing and playing and toddling around the room. And by the late after noon she would go to Bill and laugh and play with him. When she feels insecure though she goes to me.

(Finishing this post at 3:11 pm on 3/18/08.)
Long story short for now… she was really comfortable with us and having a great time with her big brother. Zion has been a fantastic big brother and very helpful. She was having so much fun playing that she wouldn’t go down at bedtime. It took me an hour to figure out how to get her to sleep. She likes to be rocked. I don’t know if her foster mom did that or if that is just for me. But I will be glad to get back home to my rocking chair. She is heavy (which is good). My arms are tired and sore already.

Today, Tuesday the 18th she really started displaying her personality. She can be stubborn and throws a little tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants. She is a feisty little girl, also very smart and curious. Our guide Jane said that the report about her from her foster mom said “She is the youngest in the house, but the smartest.” She figures thing out quickly and seem to be always trying to find out how things work. She recognizes who we are from the pictures we sent, and has already called me ‘Ma Ma’ and Zion “Ge Ge”.

Today we went back to the CCAA office to finalize the adoption. We had a quick 5-question interview. Gave our gifts to the officials and paid our money and that was it. Finally… after all these year and the mountains of paper work Lu Jia Feng is now XuXu Lynn Denzel.

Thank you all for all your patience in waiting for this. Getting on line is difficult and having time to post is even more difficult. It is noon on Wednesday the 19th now and we are all adjusting pretty well. One more final prayer request (if you hung in there to read all of this) Bill is feeling like he has now caught what I had, so pray for energy, healing and strength for him. We now get more time on our own and can rest more, so that is good.

Love and thanks to everyone!

Sorry no pictures yet! I don't get a button to add them and I'm not computer savvy enough to figure out how to do it other wise. There will be lots of pictures when we get back. I will also try to put them on Flicker, and then post about it so you all can see and not have to wait so long. And also maybe Guangzhou will be better internet wise.

We made it!

2008-03-14T16:19:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!

We made it to Beijing! I have been unable to access my blog so have asked a friend to post whenever we are unable to. We all made it here safely and are enjoying experiencing China. But my cold has become a sinus infection. I am taking antibiotics but feel pretty bad. Please be praying for healing and health for all of us. That's all for now! Will be posting more with pictures soon.

Love from all of us,

Amorisa/Aimee

Our Travel Itinerary

2008-03-11T05:44:00.000-07:00

Adoption Itinerary from March 12th to March 26th

Wednesday, March 12th: Depart for Beijing

Thursday, March 13th: Arrive in Beijing

Friday, March 14th: Beijing Tour: Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City and Hutong tour

Saturday, March 15th: Beijing Tour: The Summer Palace and Great Wall

Sunday, March 16th: Palm Sunday church service, Late afternoon flight to Hefei (XuXu's city!)

Gotcha Day!
Monday, March 17th: Meet XuXu Lynn Denzel!

Tuesday, March 18th: Civil Affairs Appointment

March 19th - March 20th: Paperwork, Sight-seeing, & Shopping

Friday, March 21st: Flight to Guangzhou

Saturday, March 22nd: Medical Exam and Paperwork Party (not really much of a party... trust me)

Sunday, March 23rd: Easter Sunday church service and Shopping

Monday, March 24th: Consulate Appointment

Tuesday, March 25th: Pick up Child's Visa

Wednesday, March 26th: Depart from Guangzhou, Depart from Hong Kong... and at last Arrive Home!

OK... so I'm not in China... yet

2008-03-11T05:01:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. I woke up around 3:30-4:00AM after finally getting the packing thing mostly figured out at around 12:00AM (emphasis on mostly). I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve or the night before a trip to Disneyland. I never slept on those kind of nights as a kid. It's just like that feeling, only I think more intense.

In 24 hours from now we will be at LAX (going through security... not looking forward to that). It's such a strange feeling that this is finally happening. My heart is in my throat with nerves and anticipation. What will she look like? How has she grown? Will she recognize us from the pictures we sent? How will Zion do on the plane? Did I pack warm enough clothes for the Great Wall? (The first time I was there it was the end of December and it was cold enough to be dressed like the little brother in "A Christmas Story".) In Beijing, we walked across the lake at the Summer Palace to see the Marble Boat over the ice! It was that cold. There are so many thoughts racing through my head.

Well... I know that God has been guiding us through this process, even when it really didn't feel like it sometimes through that long wait. I know he will continue to do so. " 'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.' " Jeremiah 29:11

Looking toward the future...
Enjoying the joy of today.

Packing Chaos!

2008-03-10T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally seem to be on the mend from all the colds and infections. So first, thank you for all the prayers! We are all still sniffling and coughing, however. But we have ONE MORE DAY! till we're "leaving on a jet plane..." (I know, I know, corny. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.) Hooray!

But... right now we are in the midst of trying to figure out how to pack! AAAHHHHHH! I have never been a light packer. But I must be for this trip. Especially because the flights we take from city to city in China have pretty strict luggage weight restrictions. Only 44lbs. of checked luggage per person. And I have 4 people to pack for and only three people on on first flight from Beijing to Hefei. So... where to put the stuff for the 4th person? (Albeit a small person, but you know how much stuff we moms carry around daily in just a diaper bag, not to mention enough stuff for about 10 days.) I plan on have clothes laundered there and bringing what I consider to be the bare minimum... but... where do I put it?

Well, I better go figure that out.

By the way... Thank you very much to Shannon, who helped to clean our house today, to Aracely who brought us lunch, and to Dora who got those last four "Benjamin's" for me. What thoughtful and loving friends I am blessed with. I don't know what I'd do with out you women. Also for you readers who live here in beautiful Ventura (Surf, Shop, Stay) Shannon White is coordinating, meals for when we get home. You can contact her at shanmere@gmail.com if you would like to join in.

All of my friends, local and on-line, have been so encouraging and supportive. I feel humbled and deeply blessed. Thank you.

Stay tuned... my next post will be from China!

What a Day!

2008-03-07T20:52:00.000-08:00

We really need prayer! I feel like we have been under attack this week. I have been sick and unable to do much (so needless to say I'm way behind on packing). My son came down with pink eye today (thank God on Friday instead of Saturday, because I could still go to the doctor to take care of it instead of spending hours in the emergency room.) And today I had to spend the whole day driving around town try to get the $5000 in crisp $100 bills for the in China adoption fees. UGH!

Let me explain that... about 4 weeks ago I went to my bank (should I say who they are?... hmmm... let's just say their initials are WM) to ask about getting the crisp and clean bills. I wanted to know if I would have to order them or could I just come in and get the money any time. The teller I talked to said "Oh, we always have plenty of crisp bills, that will be no problem any time."

WRONG! When I went in this morning they said that for the amount I needed I should have ordered it and they could only give me what they had on hand... which was only $700. They did ask if I wanted to order it, but it wouldn't be ready till at least Wednesday... TOO LATE! So... I spent the rest of the day (till 5:30pm) going to every branch of my bank in driving distance (and some other banks too) to try to piece together all that we need. Well long story short, I'm still short $400 in clean $100 bills. I hope I can get them by Tuesday. I'm so mad at my bank right now for giving me the wrong information that I could strangle the teller who told me that I could "come in any time."

Sorry to vent. I'm just so frustrated and exhausted right now. I can't wait to be on the plane and have all this behind me.

Second Shower for XuXu

2008-03-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the delay in posting friends. All the travel preparations are keeping me busy (we leave in 6 days from today!) And I caught a cold on top of everything. It has me definitely slowed down, but it seems like I will be over it before we leave.

So about the shower... on February 23rd some of my beautiful bridge women friends threw a shower for me. It was masterminded by "my pretty lady" Kat, hosted at the gorgeous home of Tracy, and Jen N. and Jen L. helped with the planning. And also Robyn and Dara were there helping out too.

It had a Chinese theme. The decorations were my favorite colors red and aqua blue and pink too, because "It's a Girl!" Tracy planned a delicious lunch of Chinese chicken salad, egg rolls, pot-stickers, rice (a must at a Chinese meal), fruit salad, and fortune cookies. Jen L. made a super yummy chai iced tea. Jen N. planned the games: a fun quiz about XuXu and I, the classic safety pin don't say "baby" game, and a game inspired by a Chinese baby shower game where the guests try to find the baby's name in balloons (but we used envelopes). Kat coordinated everything, did the invites, cake, balloons... etc. etc.

It was all wonderful, but what blessed me the most and my favorite part of it was getting to see and visit with all my old bridge women friends. I have missed them all so much since the bridge dissolved last fall. (The bridge was our church that, we helped to plant in 1997.) Such a loving, strong, creative, giving, wise and Godly group of women. I love you all and I'm a grateful to call you all friends.

Here are pictures from the shower! Enjoy!

Official Travel Dates!

2008-02-29T15:51:00.000-08:00

We now have our Consulate appointment, March 24th, and our official travel dates, and our airline tickets.

We will leave for China on March 12th, a day earlier than expected. I should know better than to have expectations with this roller coaster adoption process ;). And we will leave China for home on March 26th.

Time to PACK!

Here we go!

2008-02-28T13:41:00.000-08:00

We'll I have BIG news that I have been sitting on because it was tentative till now... but we are leaving for China on the 13th of MARCH! Just two short weeks from today. I can hardly believe it. After all this wait it hardly seems real... But it is. XuXu Lynn your family is coming!

I also have not posted much because I have been busy getting ready to go. Sooooo much to do. :)

We are all so excited, that I really don't have words for the joy.
(Big happy tears right now.)
Children are adopted everyday. It is an ordinary occurrence, but what a sacred moment and a miracle it is when adoption touches you and your family. When God brings people together who are worlds apart and unites them with love.
No words... just joy.

Be praying for us all. We leave on the 13th and will return from China on either the 26th, 27th, or 28th depending on our Consulate Appointment (to finalize everything).

Update on the crisis caused by China's severe winter.

2008-02-23T21:09:00.000-08:00

The following is a letter written by Jenny Bowen, Executive Director of Half the Sky Foundation, to thank all those who donated to Half the Sky to help the orphans in China during the most severe winter storms they have had in 50 years. My gratitude to my friends who contributed and or prayed, when I sent out an SOS about the situation.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..." James 1:27 NIV.

Here's the letter:

On behalf of many, many thousands of children who remained safe and warm through China’s toughest winter storms in 50 years, THANK YOU!

The weather has warmed considerably. On Wednesday, all power was finally restored.

Director Liu of the Yihuang County SWI in Jiangxi province called us on Friday. He said that Yihuang was the last place in China to have light again. Thanks to you, the orphanage was able to buy a generator which produced just enough power to light the children’s building. Although one of their buildings was severely damaged by snow and the staff had to fetch well water from the countryside for many days, no one was hurt and all 63 children stayed well. The director called to make sure we all knew how grateful he is for aid from the Little Mouse Emergency Fund.

Our staff in Beijing has had conversations like this one all week long as we made arrangements to wire reimbursement for locally purchased goods to 98 different welfare institutions. Today we are pleased to announce the end of this extraordinary relief effort. From all over the world, this community has raised almost 5 Million Yuan RMB (US$700,000) to protect the children!

Approximately 3 Million is going directly to those institutions which suffered through this disaster. The remaining funds will be used to help all children's welfare institutions establish a store of emergency provisions so that this never happens again. 100% of the funds donated to the Little Mouse Emergency Fund are dedicated to this purpose.

On Wednesday we will meet with Vice-Minister of Civil Affairs, Dou YouPei to make a ceremonial presentation of the proceeds of the Little Mouse Emergency Fund to China’s orphaned children, and to discuss a plan for disaster preparation in the welfare institutions. The Ministry of Civil Affairs understands that this is a gift to the children from people of many nations and they look forward to the opportunity to express their gratitude.

It has been a tremendous pleasure and an honor to be a part of this effort. I understand what “people power” means in a whole new way. When people really care, nothing can stop them from doing what needs to be done.

As of today, the Fund is closed. If there are donations on the way, we will include them in the fund. But if you are considering a gift today, please, instead, support the Half the Sky programs that give children the loving care of family every single
day. Even when the weather is calm.

With love and gratitude,

Jenny

Jenny Bowen
Executive Director
Half the Sky Foundation
www.halfthesky.org

Half the Sky was created in order to enrich the lives and enhance the prospects for orphaned children in China. We establish and operate infant nurture and preschool programs, provide personalized learning for older children and establish loving permanent family care and guidance for children with disabilities. It is our goal to ensure that every orphaned child has a caring adult in her life and a chance at a bright future.

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XuXu's Room

2008-02-18T20:48:00.000-08:00

It's so nice to have a nursery again... and the room is not as difficult for me emotionally as I thought it would be. Let me explain...

After we moved Zion to his surf themed "big boy" room, the nursery became a guest room and office for my husband. The decor didn't really change much. The baby things got put away and a desk and office things got put in. There was also a twin bed in there for guests. For years that was what it was.

Well, at the end April of 2007 when my mom finally got out of the hospital after a three month stay (she was fighting cancer... actually an infection that was a complication of the cancer). She came to live with us because she was still too sick to go all the way home, which was in a small town in Northern CA. She was with us for only three days, when her condition deteriorated and I had to take her back to the hospital. From there it was a rapid down hill slide and she passed away on May 2nd 2007.

So needless to say that since then, that room has been difficult for me to spend time in. I wasn't sure I could handle it being XuXu's room at first, especially without radically changing it. Well, because everything is suddenly moving so fast with the adoption we don't have time to change it. So I had to just set it back up. I've added a couple of girly-er touches. So now that it's done it feels like a sweet happy nursery and reminds me of when my son was a baby. Thank God for the peace He provides. And it is somehow a connection between XuXu and my mom... miss you Mom, love you.

First Shower for XuXu

2008-02-18T09:00:00.000-08:00

My beautiful prayer group friends, Susan, Christine and Lisa... (that's me on the end.)

put on a gorgeous tea party for me to welcome and help us prepare for XuXu. Family and friends drove in from the LA area and from here in Ventura. They made delicious tea sandwiches and salads, and Christine brought the most adorable Petite Fours for dessert. The table setting was so beautiful with pretty china, silver and pink roses.

XuXu received so many pretty clothes and baby girl things. Having girly things is so much fun... especially for a girly girl such as myself. During the opening of the gifts each guest said a blessing for XuXu and our family. I cried... it is so touching and humbling to hear the heart of your loved ones towards you.

I feel so honored and blessed to have such loving and caring family and friends. I can't wait to dress her in the beautiful clothes and play tea party with the too cute for words tea set my sister-in-law Rita gave her. What a special day that will always be in my heart. Thank you everyone... especially Susan, Lisa and Christine!

A gift for XuXu

2008-02-05T22:44:00.000-08:00

After a lot of research on how to send it, we finally decided to send XuXu a care package ourselves. I finally finished putting it together today. We hope she will receive it before we get there. With the severe winter weather China is having and the Chinese New Year Holiday, there may be delays.

I made a little album of family pictures with captions translated by my dad and I made her a baby blanket and I put in a cute little bunny that makes a "boing, boing" sound when you squeeze it. My dad also graciously translated a letter to accompany the gift. I'm so grateful that he is fluent and literate in Mandarin.

Today, I also worked on the gifts to bring to the nannies and orphanage director etc. etc. and a couple extra just in case.
And over the weekend we worked on getting her room ready. Bill had been using that room as an office. So we started cleaning out my art studio so that we could combine his office with it and get XuXu's room ready. I'd say we're about 50% done. There is still so much to do in such a short time.

Such as Packing!! I have a lot of packing anxiety! I am a notorious over packer and can't do that on this trip, but still need to be prepared for everything. How do you do that!?!?!! I'm praying we find out some concrete travel days soon. The guessing is making me nuts. I need a goal line to look at to plan better. Well, we're getting there little by little. It's getting more and more real.

Last summer I found this quote at a gallery in Ojai and felt it described feelings we had for the daughter that we did not yet know, perfectly:
"For a long time there were only your footprints and laughter in our dreams, and even from such small things, we knew we could not wait to love you forever."

Some times I'm overwhelmed by the fact that those dreams will be reality soon.

How Zion got his name.

2008-02-01T20:47:00.000-08:00

Here is the story behind my little miracle guy's name.

Two years before Zion was born, when we were trying to get pregnant, we were watching the Grammys. It was the year Lauren Hill debuted with her album "The Miseducation of Lauren Hill". I can't remember if she won the grammy or not, but she did perform. She sang the song "To Zion", which is about her son and choosing to keep him instead of aborting him the way her friends and family advised her. It is a very moving song of a mother's love. After hearing it Bill said to me, "Zion is a cool name." And I said "For our kid?!" I wasn't sure it fit at the time... but we put it on our list of baby names anyway, (which got very long by the way.)

Then we waited and prayed and waited and prayed for years for the stick to turn blue. After it finally did and God answered our prayers for a child, we went about the business of narrowing down our list of names. Finding out that he was a boy at the 20 week sonogram helped.

Now, I love names with meaning. I feel like saying someone's name is like declaring what that means over them and speaking that into their life. So to figure out which names were the most meaningful to us we had about 5 baby naming books and crossreferenced them continually during this process. (Do you see the research theme repeating itself here?)

And now you are saying, "Alright already! What does his name mean?!?" Well, Zion, is a biblical name. In the Bible, Zion is the name of the mountain of God and the city of God, "the place where God dwells". It also represents Christ and the new covenant where Mt. Sinai represents the law. It represents all the redemption and mercy and love God promises us through Christ. As for all those baby name books, the name Zion was in only three of the five, and in those it meant "promise" and "perfect".

Once we found out these things about the name Zion, I knew it had to be his name. Especially after all the prayer that had gone up by us and family and friends on his and our behalf to bring him into this world. He symbolized God's promise to us, his perfect provision for our desire to be parents. And calling him Zion would be speaking over him that he IS the dwelling place of God. God will live in his heart. So on August 10th, 2000 (my birthday) on a hill over looking Ventura, Bill said I could make the final choice for his name. (We were still trying to decide between Zion and Max at the time. Bill was not sure he liked such an unusual name.) I chose Zion. And then Alexander for his middle name, meaning "protector of his people". I also liked the alitteration in Zion Alexander Denzel.

When Zion was born later that year on 12-2-2000, he was all that we had prayed for and more. Our little miracle. Our perfect promise.

What's in a name?

2008-01-30T09:04:00.000-08:00

I have always been one for unusual names and names with meaning or a story behind them. Maybe because of my own name... Amorisa Malika. Amorisa is America and Formosa put together. My mom being an America and my dad being from Taiwan (formerly known as Formosa - beautiful island), they put the two together and got Amorisa. It also means "beloved". My middle name, Malika, is Swahili for "angel". My mom learned some Swahili in her 20's thinking she might go to Africa on a mission trip, but it didn't happen. So I got my middle name from it instead.

So the reason for this post is to tell you how XuXu got her name...

Early on in our adoption, I think before we even applied to our agency, I was reading online adoption stories. I came across a story with a little girl whose Chinese sir name was Xu. (I can't remember the rest of her name and I can't find the story any more.) Well her new adoptive parents called her Xu Xu. And not knowing how to pronounce any Mandarin at the time, I thought it was pronounced Zu Zu (its really more like shu shu). I thought that was the cutest name ever and it went so well with Zion (our son's name)!

So I asked my dad (who is fluent in Mandarin) a little later what the sir name Xu meant. He said "It could mean 'red' or it could mean 'pearl' and two together shows emphasis, as in 'very red' or 'rare pearl'." Well that sealed the deal for me right there! Our daughter WAS a rare pearl. So we have been referring to her as that ever since. In pinyin (Mandarin spelled out in the English alphabet) it is spelled Zhen Zhu and pronounced more like Tsun Tsu. But for American ears and tongues and because it goes with Zion it is XuXu, pronounced ZuZu! Also we just like it that way.

Her middle name Lynn is to honor the Chinese side of the family. My dad's sir name is Lynn spelled Lin in pinyin. My dad changed it when he immigrated to the USA from Taiwan.

That's the whole story. (Zion's name has a long story behind it too, I'll just have to tell it later.)

Our Adoption Story

2008-01-29T22:52:00.000-08:00

We are adopting a daughter from China. And we will be going to bring her home in just a few weeks. Here is the story behind this long and winding road with a steep downhill grade at the end of it... you gotta watch out for that!

I have always wanted to adopt kids since I can remember. When I was little I used to tell my friends I wanted to adopt children. Now fast forward to about 1989-1990 (I'm 19 years old and a sophomore in college). I was watching the academy awards and one of the documentaries nominated was "The Dying Rooms" a BBC documentary about the problem that China's one child policy was causing in China's orphanages (I know that this is a controversial movie and many do not consider it accurate). I saw those little girls and was so moved. I felt a strong connection to them. Maybe that God was letting me know about his plan for me... maybe it's being of Chinese heritage (my dad was born in Taiwan and is racially Chinese).

So that was in the back of my mind for many years. Then in the mid 1990's after being married for a couple of years I stared noticing people who had adopted girls from China. Not too many but enough to stir up those thoughts and emotions that the documentary had planted in me. And I thought "I would like to do that... adopt a girl from China." Bill (my husband) and I had talked about wanting to adopt kids after we had a couple of our own. Well, in 1997 we moved to a bigger house to "start that family", but God had other plans.

We had infertility problems and after about 3 years of "trying", praying, being tested, poked, prodded, timed, drugged, treated, being told "There's nothing wrong with you, you should be pregnant" and lots of tears... we gave up and were about to start to look in to adoption. Then we had a miracle happen. We were pregnant with our son Zion, born 12-2-2000. After he was born and then weaned (about a year) we started on trying for number two. We thought it should be easy since we had done it before... wrong.

After giving it about 3 more years of similar stuff as the previous paragraph (Zion is about 4 at this time). We said enough! It's time to adopt. So in November of 2004 we agreed that adoption was where God was leading us and started to do research.
Research, research, research! Domestic or international, private or agency, open or closed, new-born or waiting child etc. etc.
I again went back to that desire God had planted in me more that a decade before. I knew we had to adopt a girl from China or I knew I would always wish that I had. So now more research... on how to do just that.

So in March of 2005, I sent a request for an info packet from America World Adoption Association (AWAA) and then ultimately on 3-29-05 sent them an application to adopt a daughter from China using their agency. And then the paper chase was on! (Paper pregnancy as AWAA liked to call it.) So for the rest of 2005 it was all about the adoption paperwork. Getting it done, sending it out for certification and authentication and all that. Getting every nook and cranny of our lives evaluated and approved. Finally on January 13, 2006 our Dossier (fancy word for paperwork) went to China! And we were officially logged into China's system on January 27, 2006 (this is called a Log In Date or LID in the adoption community).

We were expecting about a 9 -10 month wait till we got our referral (that's when China matches you with a child, for those who are wondering). 9 -10 months was the typical wait at the time. So we thought, towards the end of the year, maybe before Christmas (2006) we'll have our daughter. So... Now that I no longer had to plow through piles of paper work what was I going to with the wait?! (Besides being a wife and mom of a busy 5 year old... I love you Zion! You too Bill!)... You guessed it... research!!! Those of you who know me know I am an information addict. NPR, books, magazines, Internet... all that.

Well during this research I discovered that there had been a baby trafficking scandal in the Hunan province of China with some of the Children possibly being adopted internationally! (This is disputed, but the orphanage director and several others involved were executed.) I knew that the demand for Chinese girls had gone up, but I still believed the there was a great need for people to adopt these children, so this was shocking. Had I made the right decision? Was what we were doing helping with a problem or contributing to one? More research... I concluded that things were not so black and white China is such and huge country and so diverse that I could not find a simple yes or no. All this put in my mind that maybe we should adopt a Special Needs Child. I knew that there was no demand for them within China. But we were not ready for that yet and felt God had lead us there for a reason we had to stick it out. So now more waiting.

This takes us to about early 2007... still no referral and we had been waiting for over a year. Then in March everything changed. China's Center for Adoption Affairs', CCAA, (which is the government agency that handles all international adoption) referral process came to a screeching halt. What began as about one month's worth of LIDs given referrals every month at the time of the beginning of our process had slowly reduced to about 15 days of LIDs a month. (You can see how this might back things up with thousands of dossiers being submitted every year.) Well in March this number suddenly dropped to 2 days! And what we thought was just a couple more months wait till our referral and than a couple more till we brought her home changed to more than a year to wait still! 3 years if they continued to process only 2 days a month! We called our agency for info on what was going on and prayed for the number of days of LIDs given referrals to go up. It did, but still has not returned to number any where near 30. It usually hovers between 4-7 days of LIDs processed a month.

So after a few more months of hoping and praying for China to move faster. We decide to switch from waiting for a "healthy" (NSN) child to a "special needs" (SN) child since we could do that with out getting out of "line" for our original plan, and ethically I felt better about adopting a SN child. Especially since the demand for NSN children was so great as to clog up the system. We applied to be able to do this at about he end of August 2007 (I can't remember the exact date.) At the time AWAA told us that there were about 100 other people on the list of those interested in adopting a girl age 2 or under with minimal special needs. (That's what we applied for by the way). So at the time I thought "Oh well, that probably won't speed anything up," and then put it out of my mind and went back to waiting.

This takes us to December 2007. We had been in the adoption process, including research, for three years now. I had become accustomed to waiting and starting to wonder if we made the right choice and should we have gone domestic etc. etc. When on 12-7-07, I came home from taking my son to school and there was a message from AWAA's SN family coordinator (FC) saying to call her back she had to talk to us about something. First I thought "Uh oh! Is something wrong with our paperwork?!" Then I remembered an e-mail from the day before saying that AWAA had received some SN referrals and the families who were getting them would be contacted in the next few days. I thought "Could we be getting our referral, is this about our daughter?!?!!!... No way! there are 100 people in front of us."

Well, Lauren our family coordinator did have a referral for us. I could not stop crying and pacing. I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to shout to every one "Here's my daughter!", but we had to go through the referral review process first. That took about a week. On 12-14-07, my mom's birthday, we were able to announce that the beautiful 13 month old girl, known as Lu Jia Feng, would be our daughter. We are going to name her XuXu Lynn Denzel (I'll write a post about her name later.)

Side bar... my wonderful mother Willa Marie Lynn passed away after a courageous 5 year battle with cancer on May 2, 2006. Knowing that my mom didn't make to meet her here on earth has been hard.

Here's a little bit about her. She was born on 11-2-06 (estimated by the doctor who examined her). And she was found was found "in the No.5 cabin of N543 Train from Huaibei to Hefei by Hefei Train Station staff Wang Peixiang on Nov. 3, 2006."
Her special need is... she was born without fingers on her left hand. She only has a thumb and partial pinkie there. (She will do great... we know because our beautiful friend and mother of 3, Amy, has only one hand and is amazing!) She lives in the Hefei City Social Welfare Institute (fancy word for orphanage). The blessing is it is a "Half the Sky" orphanage. (I have written way too much... To find out more about that go to www.halfthesky.org). So developmentally she is on track and healthy. Also beautiful, if I may say so... love that smile!

After sending our Letter of Acceptance, LOA, to China on 12-21-07, we got our Pre-Approval, PA, (this just means China is working on you approval) on 1-11-08 and we just got our Referral Approval, RA, on 11-25-08. Just two weeks after getting our PA when our FC said it could take from 2-6-months to get it. I wasn't expecting the RA till AT LEAST the END of February. This is what I meant by a steep down hill at the end of this journey. After such a long wait and uphill battle with faith, emotions and paperwork we are so happy to get to fly down the mountain now. So now what we are waiting for is our Travel Approval, TA. This might happen any where from 1.5 to 3 weeks from now (1-29-08). So we could be leaving for China between February 21st -March 15th. Whew... we've been praying for so long for God to speed things up, praises that he did, I have to admit to being overwhelmed by how fast things are moving now. Lots to do and prepare.

Now that I am actually posting to my blog (I've had it for over 1.5 years just never posted, I type too slow, and I usually don't have the time) I will try to update the news on the journey here and hopefully you can join us in China through the blog.

Blessings to you and stay tuned! Pray for us and our trip and XuXu!

Me and My Loving Family

2006-05-02T03:51:00.000-07:00